I get into a cycle of shame when I try to beat myself out of sad and into gratitude. Constantly need to relearn that each feeling has its place, and needs to be felt. It can’t be beaten out of me with gratitude.
Painting with lots of colour helps me to keep going. The not-good-enough story is working hard to perpetuate itself today. I need to get under the sun.
I want you to have this painting. Make me an offer. ❤️
To start, I will admit it. I suck at blogging. Or rather, I suck at blogging regularly. I am not going to make anymore promises about blogging more, because I can’t seem to keep them. I have been doing other things regularly – meditating, 365project, dancing – these are the things that feed my soul right now, that give me pleasure. Blogging would be up there if I didn’t have to do it on a computer. Someday, when I can blog from my brain directly to the world wide web, then I will be a regular blogger!
This week I’ve been busy, busy, busy. Well, mostly. I started the week off by attending the Nine Inch Nails concert. LOVED it, LOVE Trent, but have a little bit of disappointment, because Calgary didn’t get to see the mega-awesome light/video spectacle that was supposed to accompany it. Now I KNOW it is about the music, and it IS, but having seen them before, and having been blown away before by the visuals, and having read about how spectacular they were this time around, I couldn’t help but be disappointed when it didn’t happen. Poo. Next time, I’m going to Edmonton or Vancouver, too.
Then, I had five paintings to start (and finish) in four days. I did it, but not without some procrastination. I was worried at first about the deadline, but then I remembered that I used to finish two paintings in two hours at Gorilla House on a weekly basis, so surely I could complete 5 paintings in four days. I love having the deadline – it gives me that push I need to get something done. I can procrastinate quite a bit when I don’t have a deadline, to the point of getting nothing done. Somehow, when I do have the deadline, I still procrastinate, but within limits. I know my limits, and somehow know just how much time I really need to get the job done.
I went through the awkward phase of painting, like I usually do, but set myself the goal of remaining truly authentic to whatever is coming up. I don’t try to please people when I paint, but I do sometimes have thoughts like, “This isn’t real art”, or “Nobody will like this”, or “It’s too colourful” (HA!). I really tried to focus this week on being me, without apologies. I know having all the colours of the rainbow in a painting isn’t for everyone. I certainly don’t like every painting I see. But this is how I paint, and as long as I enjoy painting this way, as long as I am happy with the process and (usually) the end result, then I am being authentic. And hopefully, a few people will like it, too. Oh, and yes, I listened to NIN while painting, the entire week.
And here’s what happened this week:
And here are the final paintings. They are all for sale, and are going to be on display at a coffee shop in Calgary for December. Yay!:
“Universe” 12″ x 36″ $390
“These Three Things” 12″ x 24″ $260
“Underneath It All” 12″ x 24″ $260
“Roots” 12″ x 12″ $150
“Chaos” 12″ x 12″ $150
Whew! What an exhausting weekend! It is hard work to stay all smiles, and talk to people for 7 hours straight (after a day of setting up), especially for an introvert! I was pretty wiped about 2 hours in, but hopefully it wasn’t too obvious.
The day went well, although there are things I will change for next year, for sure. I sold all ten copies of Journal It!, one painting, and lots of cards, pins and magnets. I would love to sell more paintings, but I think my display needs to be more open, more accessible, so people can step right up to the art. Half the time, I didn’t think people noticed the paintings behind me, because of all the things I had to look at on the table! All in all, it was a fun day, and I was happy with it.
I was very happy to sell this painting to Denise. Thank you, Denise!
My friend Yvonne and her felting-partner had a beautiful table with lots of little hand-felted critters, with skating ponds, an igloo, trees, the works. It was stunning.
I still have plenty of magnets, paintings, and cards available. I also painted a mirror and a lazy Susan, both of which I love. I may decide to keep the mirror, but for now, it is available and perfect for the young girl in your life!
These things make me happy. I love all these bright rainbow colors (especially on a snowy day like today) that I found at the Museum of Modern Art gift shop in NYC! I was so tempted to buy all of them, but I totally restrained myself. I collect memories of rainbow things, rather than the things themselves, I guess!
Measuring cups and bowls.
Rainbow tumblers
Placemats
More placemats
MOMA punch-out calendar
Really had to restrain myself with this one!
Umbrella
I love this super-cute rainbow Space Invaders bag! I don’t use purses/bags enough to buy it, though.
An amazing wall of rainbow canisters at David’s Tea shop in Banff:
First, here’s the painting I gave to my mom for her birthday. We share a love of rainbows!
Next, some works-in-progress!
The painting above used to look like this:
Which used to look like this:
Crazy, eh? I’m still filled with gratitude to Flora Bowley for opening up the doors for me to trust my process and really have fun with painting. I’ve been loving painting more than ever.
And finally, I finished a commissioned painting for a friend. Normally I get pretty worked up about whether people will like the painting they have asked me to do (especially when they give zero guidelines). In this case, though, I am truly happy with it, and can’t wait to deliver!
Some of my favorite bits:
Drawn From the Fire 