SelfLove365, Year 2, Day 209: Parent My Child

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I am a mother of three, and while I am by no means a perfect mom (whatever that means), I treat my children with respect, love and care.

My inner child does not receive this quality of parenting; not even close. She is asked, “What is wrong with you?”, and her feelings are frequently shut down for fear of seeming too needy or immature. She is constantly pushed away or neglected.

It is time for her to be seen, to be healed. When she takes control of my life, I am holding her, parenting her, listening to her, and giving her boundaries. I am showing her respect, and making sure she is heard. I am no longer rejecting her, and I am telling her she is safe.

I am telling her she is loved.

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SelfLove365, Year 2, Day 208: Vision

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I see you with fresh eyes (I don’t assume you are the same person you were yesterday).

I see myself in 5 years, successful by my standards (I look back 5 years to see how far I have come).

I see what surrounds me, and pay particular attention to nature (I want to do this more).

I see you (and allow you to see the authentic me).

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August Super Studio Days!

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Want a great place to paint for the summer? Registration is now open for Super Studio Days in August!
Join me!

SelfLove365, Year 2, Day 207: Listening to the Voice Within

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Today my voice within was asking, “What the hell is wrong with you?”

The trick is in knowing that this voice doesn’t belong to me, and when I hear it, I can respond with the words I need to hear:

“I love you, Belinda.”

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SelfLove365, Year 2, Day 206: Every New Moment

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Your breath on my neck, like forbidden kisses.
Arms flail as I dance around the room.
The sensation of my hands travelling over my body.
Witnessing the pleasure I bring to you, which brings me pleasure.
Asking questions. Breathing. Hearing answers.
New smells.
Chocolate melting on my lips.
Allowing pleasure.
Being present for every new moment.

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SelfLove365, Year 2, Day 205: (hold: inner child)

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For the first time in 17 years, I am living on my own: no children, no partner. My children left to stay with their father for a month, and I am not the type of mother who gets emotional about separation – I have thoroughly enjoyed my child-free weeks these past 9 months, and I was looking forward to this month, to be honest.

Now that it’s quiet, and I am alone, I am missing them. My inner child is lonely, and now it is my job to treat her as I would my children: with compassion, patience and care. Rather than shutting off her (my) feelings (which is my tendency), I want to allow myself to feel all the things that this part of me wants to feel, and to give her (me) space, give her (me) time, and give her (me) care and compassion.

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SelfLove365, Year 2, Day 204: Grow, grow, grow

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I am always growing and looking for ways to move forward.

My friend made a comment on Facebook today about change – she said she is tired of changing, and asked why we can’t let go of the idea that we need to change, and “what if I learn how to be in my world by being where I am and staying present to the feelings”.

In reading this, I realized that, while I make efforts to be present, and I am present a lot more than I used to be, really allowing my feelings and just being where I am IS change for me. My tendency is to resist the feelings I don’t want to feel, and then usually to become stuck in them. The very act of being present to them and allowing them to be there and to move through me, leads to change.

And this change leads to growth.

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