With music, I am pulled deeper within my body, given the freedom to access the parts of me that are stuck, and tease the emotions out.
The music flows, my body flows, my tears flow.
The beat drops, my body thrusts, the energy builds.
The vocals rip my ears to shreds, my heart pounds, the anger moves.
A note, a beat, a melody, a harmony – the smallest part can grip my heart and feed me like nothing else.
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Moves me to tears.
Revs up my engine.
Encourages me to feel deeply, even the hard stuff.
Ramps up the drama.
Calms the nerves.
Pumps me up.
Chills my skin.
Attaches to memories.
Enhances the mood.
Brings out my animal.
Helps me express.
Sets the stage.
Music is the soundtrack to my life.
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So, I’m still running, but it’s going to be awhile until I crack the 5k! I kind of hit a plateau at about 3.8 km, and I am finding it very difficult to get past that. Well, to be completely honest, I don’t feel like I have enough time to run more than that during the week. I already get up at 5:15 am as it is, so to run more, I’ll have to wake up even earlier. Ugh! Not prepared to do that yet!
I just started jump-rope, thanks to Jenny Doh, again. That Jenny, she gets me into all kinds of trouble. It sounds so easy, to jump rope, right? It’s not. I could barely get past 15 seconds of straight jumping. I’m trying not to do the skipping, you know, like when you were a kid and you have that little half-bounce in between jumps? I think that’s cheating, but I’m not entirely sure. Anyhow, it’s hard. Running can be a bit boring, so I thought I would pep up my routine a bit this way. My commitment this week is to stick with the jumping until I can reach 30 seconds x 3!
Another way to keep the routine from getting stale is to keep the music fresh. I have trouble with that one, too, mainly because I obsess over music and listen to an album or song over and over and over, until… I’m bored. I would love to know what people in the gym are listening to, and sometimes I do ask. Please let me know your favorite workout tunes and I will list what is getting the most playtime on my iPhone!
Top 25 Most Played on Bel’s iPhone (according to the playlist of the same name!):
Ground Shake by Dirty Radio
Get Doh by N’fa
Love is on the Line by Goodfellaz
Wanna Ride by Dirty Radio
I Believe by Simian Mobile Disco
Telephone by Lady Gaga
Love is Gone by Chris Willis and David Guetta
My ❤ by Dirty Radio
Commander by Kelly Rowland (feat. David Guetta)
Baby When the Light by David Guetta
Lose Control by Kish Mauve
Just Can't Get Enough by Black Eyed Peas
Let It Rock by Kevin Rudolf
Hustler by Simian Mobile Disco
Heal this Land by Tina Malia
Harder, Better, Faster, Stronger by Daft Punk
Le Disko by Shiny Toy Guns
Immigrant Song by Karen O., Trent Reznor and Atticus Ross
Helena Beat by Foster the People
Fireflies by Owl City
I Like It by Enrique Iglesias
Alright by Jamiroquai
Just Dance by Lady Gaga
Jai Ho from Slumdog Millionaire
Tik Tok by Ke$ha
I realized as I typed this that this playlist must be my all-time most played, because there are some songs on there that I hardly listen to any more, like Jai Ho and Fireflies, and some that I listen to over and over that didn't make the list. In addition to this list, I should add that I have been almost exclusively playing the new Dirty Radio album, "Cassette". I love the whole thing. It's ALL good. I'm really into Jamiroquai right now, too, especially Deeper Underground, and White Knuckle Ride. Please help me out by telling me what you listen to!
I was a young one in this picture: 20 years old! Hard to believe it was so long ago. This was taken during our whole family’s trip to Israel. Fashion of the times: layered hair and bangs, tortoise-shell glasses, necklace by an Israeli artist. I remember loving it because the gems looked like candy. This trip was during my first year of dating J.P., so I am pretty sure I was thinking about him all the time!
From the CD vault: All That She Wants, by Ace of Base. This song was in rotation on the airline “radio” channel during the flight back to Canada. I had my earphones on during most of the flight, sleeping on and off, but always waking up for that song (and thinking about J.P.).
I love this picture – it just screams 1987, don’t you think? The big Madonna black sunglasses (inside, no less), the big white phone, big hair, slouchy sweatshirt, gold chain, and OH!OH!OH! those baby-pink nails (OMG!!). Like, gag me with a spoon! Nice ghetto-blaster, too. This was taken during one of several “photo shoots” I did with a friend, where we tried (oh, so hard) to be models.
From the cassette vault: “Never Let Me Down Again” by Depeche Mode. Quintessential 80’s music, Bel style.
I’m posting because I miss being on my blog. I don’t often have something that I want to write about. Too bad I’m not a writer instead of a painter – then I’d have lots more to say, I suspect. Oh, and I’d say it well, too! Ah, well, too bad!
I’m feeling a step removed from this whole holiday thing. It kind of feels like it’s going on around me, and I’m not really involved in it. Maybe it’s because the kids are getting older, and not quite as excited about it as they were in the past – I’m not sure! Maybe I just waited too long to bring out the Christmas CDs.
I’m starting to feel a bit stalled with my paintings – not sure where they are going. They feel kind of stale to me. It’s time for some fresh ideas! I just haven’t thought of any yet. I’m hoping they will just come once I start painting. I guess this would be a good time to do some process painting a la Michele Cassou!
On a totally different topic, I haven’t actually enjoyed any movies since the Matrix (!!) so I am thrilled to actually be excited about two movies, almost three. I say almost because I am not excited about seeing “We Have to Talk about Kevin”, because I know it will be disturbing, but I want to see how it compares to the book. The other two I’m looking forward to are “Girl with the Dragon Tattoo” and “The Hunger Games”. I really did not enjoy TGWTDT books and I had no plans to see the movie until I found out that Trent Reznor and Atticus Ross were going to do the soundtrack. Well. That settled that! Go back and listen to (yes, listen, more than watch) “The Social Network” and you’ll see why I’m excited to hear this movie. I just might keep my eyes closed for several scenes! Loved “The Hunger Games” book, so I am looking forward to the movie adaptation. Yay!
Remember when you were 15 and constantly looked at yourself in the mirror, inspecting all those pores and looking for imperfections? No? Yeah, me neither.
OK, yeah, I did it. I think it stopped when I stopped searching for a guy to share my life with. The year I had twins, I am pretty sure I stopped looking in the mirror altogether. For some reason, I did it again last week, and I wasn’t impressed. I realized pretty quickly that I had two choices: 1) Keep inspecting and find all my imperfections, then begin to hate myself because of them OR 2) Accept that I have imperfections, but stop looking for them and move on. I chose #2.
Now, don’t go thinking that I have fully accepted everything about physical being, because I certainly have not. It seems like it will take a life-time to completely accept my wrinkled belly, even though I know I should be grateful for how well it served as a home to three babies. I can’t really see myself ever wearing a bikini. And my freakin’ hair is driving me nuts (it’s the growing it out phase of my hair cycle… might quickly become the shave it-all-off-again phase). But I want to be accepting of myself and how I look. I also want to accept how my body works. Or doesn’t.
My back is crooked again. This has been on-again, off-again since Dec. 2008 (my back has a longer history, though, with surgery for scoliosis when I was almost 13), when I found out about my disc problem. I am no longer surprised when it happens, but I still get discouraged. I went to dance last night (as I do every week) because it’s usually my place to release stress and have fun. I knew I wouldn’t be able to move like usual, but I really let it get to me last night, with tears and all, keeping myself apart from the group. I guess I needed that. Once again, I saw it as two choices, just like with the mirror. I decided to move on, and surrender my situation. I was finally able to dance with everyone for the last few songs. As usual, Mike’s facilitation seemed to speak right to me, since he spoke of surrender, and allowing our bodies to move without effort. I so needed those words.
It always surprises me, but I am kind of grateful for my crooked back. Because of it, I have compassion for other people who can’t physically do what they feel they should be able to do. I am more grateful for my good days, when body feels strong. I am grateful for my children for keeping me from dwelling on my suffering.
If only I could be grateful for zits.
On a different note (how else do you segue from zits to music?), I have been listening to DiRTY RADiO non-stop for the last week. Once I hook onto something I like, I obsess and listen to it to death. Proud to say it’s Canadian music! Oh, and he can hit the high notes – why do I always love when guys can hit high notes?? I might have a little crush on him (yes, hubby knows about my crushes, it’s all good). Happy dancing!
Drawn From the Fire 