In 2001, when I found out I was pregnant with twins (at 20 weeks into the pregnancy), I felt sad and disappointed. These seemed like strange feelings to have in light of such amazing news, but I had a need to mourn the loss of the life I had planned/forseen/expected. That’s the key, isn’t it? When I hold an expectation of how life will go, I can be easily disappointed when the expectations aren’t met. Once I allowed my feelings to be present, I was able to move through them, into joy and excitement about having two babies at once.
Allow time to mourn the loss of the path that will no longer be taken, if necessary. Notice any emotions arising: perhaps loss, or fear or anger. Let them run their course.
OK, so it’s only 10 years ago, but it feels like longer. This photo was taken during our daughters’ first birthday party. My hair was still mostly brown back then! I’m pretty sure Birkenstocks were my only summer shoes, too. Mostly commonly asked questions during that time:
“Are they twins?”
“Do you curl their hair?”
“Do you perm their hair?”
Here’s a song I’ve recently re-discovered from that year: Hella Good by No Doubt. Didn’t appreciate it the first time around. It’s a good addition to my workout playlist.
We went to visit our friends’ baby twin girls yesterday. When we arrived they were lying on a nursing pillow while their mom fed them their bottles. Their eyes were closed, their little mouths were sucking, their teeny necks looked so fragile. Well! I did not expect myself to cry, but I just couldn’t help it! They reminded me so much of our twin girls (who are 10 now) and I had the sense that I missed so much back then. I was so happy to hear how well these parents are doing, and how grateful they are for these babies – I think they are getting the most out of their time with them. I wish I could go back in time, just for a bit, to really appreciate those little bundles! It just reminds me so much to appreciate who they are right now.
I held Jenna for most of the time we were there. While I loved holding her, one thing is clear: I am done having babies! I don’t think I have the energy for that any more. The whole time I was holding her, I was thinking, “How do you do this, with two babies?” How easily I have forgotten!