I surround myself with people who are committed to growth, and who know the perfect questions to ask at the perfect moments. Today, one of these friends asked me whether I am able explain what value my art brings to this world, and I realized that until I am able to answer that, I am stuck.
I have been realizing, during the process of separation from my husband, with discussions of support, that I still don’t value my contribution to the world as an artist. Even at a young age (as stated in my Grade 3 autobiography, in fact), I thought that being an artist was an unwise career move because it doesn’t pay well. Somehow, through my lifetime, I have been taught, and have accepted, that artists do not contribute anything worthwhile (worth paying for) to our society.
For a long time, I have been feeling like there’s something holding me back from my own success, and now I think I’ve found it. I thought it was simply a story about not being a good enough artist, but this goes well beyond my own capacities as an artist. Once again, I am looking at my value, my worth. How to dismantle this story and build anew is a new challenge for me.
I am learning. I am growing.