Tag Archives: acceptance

SelfLove365, Year 2, Day 282: Working on Acceptance

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I haven’t completely accepted the bags under my eyes. I’m working on it.

I’m not totally cool with the sags in my breasts. I’m working on it.

I’m almost accepting of my wrinkly post-twin-pregnancy belly. I’m working on it.

I don’t always consider others when making decisions. I’m working on it.

I don’t always treat my body like a temple, and eat as well as I could. I’m working on it.

I don’t always ask for what I want. I’m working on it.

I’m not always able to let go of my stories and insecurities and worries and illusions and failures. I’m working on it.

I don’t always accept me for who I am. I’m working on it.

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SelfLove365, Year 2, Day 145: Letting go of fear of PAIN. Acceptance of PAIN.

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Part of my personal motto this year is to FEEL DEEPLY, and that includes the painful stuff, too. I don’t wish to inflict pain upon myself to do this. Well, that’s not entirely true – part of the reason I enjoy getting tattoos is to experiment with how I deal with the physical pain, and to be curious about it. In fact, the last time, I noticed that halfway through the tattoo, the pain turned into pleasure!

However, I do wish to allow myself to feel whatever comes up in the moment. Resisting feelings, as I’ve done in the past, hasn’t worked so well for me; instead of moving through the feeling into something else, I wind up stuck in it. Being stuck, or frozen, leads to fear. Arguably, it’s the fear that leads to the resistance in the first place, but I think more precisely, it’s my reaction to the fear (resisting it) that translates into even more fear. It’s like that saying, “What you resist, persists”. So true. Because I grew up thinking I shouldn’t feel anything (having been told, “Don’t cry”, or “Don’t be upset”), I become afraid of feelings, worried they may take over, that they will become too painful to bear, and that I will never escape. Such is the same with physical pain; when my back is in pain, I have a belief that it will never end.

The more I can build the habit of allowing the feelings to move through me, to see that they don’t last forever, and to know that there is something else to feel on the other side of the pain, then the more I can accept, and let go of, the pain.

To learn more about the SelfLove365 project, click here.
To join the SelfLove365 project, click here.

SelfLove365, Year 2, Day 53: Acceptance

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Today I accept:

  • our holiday is over, and the last day in Miami is one of the only good weather days.
  • I am not perfect.
  • I have addictive patterns and behaviours, I’m aware of them most of the time, and I keep choosing to do them, even with the awareness of wanting to change.
  • It could take me a really long time to learn new behaviours, specifically around changing addictive patterns and habits (I’m learning a new one as I write, so that’s a start).
  • My skin has been breaking out with blemishes – possibly from sunscreen use and extra food and sugar consumption while on holiday, but it’s equally possible that the blemishes are a representation of all the ways in which I haven’t been accepting myself, my imperfections, particularily my physical body: my blemished skin, and belly bloated from too much food and sugar – it’s a vicious cycle, isn’t it?This last point seems like the ultimate in acceptance for me: accepting my skin, my belly and my eyes. I am not there yet, even though I want to be. What will it take for me to accept that my eyes are big, with bags and wrinkles, that my belly is wrinkled and not flat, that my skin breaks out and isn’t as tight as it used to be? What’s the point of not accepting these things? By not accepting them, I am rejecting myself, rejecting this body I have been given, which is really a gift. Why judge it so harshly? What will all this rejection be worth once my body is decaying in the earth, anyways? So, it looks like acceptance of aging is on the To Do list, too. Maybe I don’t need to accept my body all the time, but if I have the awareness that I am rejecting myself, then I can make a conscious choice to accept myself in that moment, instead.