Category Archives: Figure Drawing

Self Love 365, Year 3.

So, I’m back.

I began another SelfLove365 project in January, although it took me a few days to figure out what I wanted to do. The first year, I drew something I liked about myself, in a 1″ x 1″ square, every day. The second year (last year), I wrote about self love, using the previous year’s square for inspiration. As last year’s project drew to completion, I knew that I wanted to continue with my daily practice, but I couldn’t think of something that felt right. At first, I wanted to do a gratitude project of some kind, during which I would make a painting for a person in my life… daily? Weekly? It didn’t feel right to switch my SelfLove365 project to a weekly thing, but I also couldn’t imagine getting one painting finished per day, at least, not at this point in my life.

My friend Mandy and I had been discussing getting matching skull tattoos together, and she wanted me to draw it. I decided to practice drawing skulls, and after doing a little bit of journaling around the image, I knew my next project had begun. The whole point of SelfLove365, as the name implies, is to practice a little bit of self love on a daily basis. For me, that means a daily creative act. So, this year, I chose daily drawing and journaling. Initially I kept with the anatomical theme, and then eventually started including live body parts (as opposed to cadaverous) and faces. Then, I had a friend ask me to draw him, and enjoyed it enough to continue with the portrait theme. So… because I have waited so long to blog about my new project, I have many images to share with you! I hope you enjoy SelfLove365 so far!

Nude Modelling (!)

Figure drawing has always been one of my favorite artistic activities. There is nothing I find more interesting to draw than the human form. While taking many figure drawing courses and classes over the last 25 years, I often wondered what it would be like to model. Many years ago, I put nude modelling on my list of “1001 Things in 101 Days” (a sort of bucket list), thinking that it would never actually happen. More recently, the wondering became a wanting.

In the last few months, my friend Deseré Pressey (an amazing artist – check out her work) began the Off-Beat Figure Drawing sessions in Calgary. There are several models at these events (read about one male model’s experience here), and the atmosphere is relaxed and fun. When Deseré decided to host a special woman-focused session for International Women’s Day, I knew this would be the perfect opportunity to make my first attempt at modelling.

There were two reasons I had for wanting to try nude modelling. First: my meditation practice has been more regular in the last few months, and I look for opportunities to try longer practices. This seemed like the ultimate meditation practice (nude, in front of strangers, with long poses). Second: my journey to fully and completely accepting my body is far from over, and it seemed to me that exposing myself in front of strangers would either push me further into acceptance, or at least, allow me to learn more about my process of acceptance.

The session was held at the beautiful Wolf Willow Studios, and was an intimate gathering of women, with accompanying harp music by the amazing Eily Aurora. I had been excited all day, which flipped into nervousness in the hour before dropping my robe. Luckily, a more seasoned model was willing to give me tips and she helped me feel more comfortable before we began.

Turned out that there were women attending that I knew, but I didn’t allow that to freak me out. I noticed that I thought I “should” freak out about it, but I wasn’t really feeling it. The hardest part was dropping the robe, but that was easier once I saw that the other two models had done so already.

During the first few poses, I noticed that I felt a bit closed off from the group, and I think my poses expressed that somewhat. By dropping my physical protection, my mind gave me a mental protection, a kind of barrier. Eventually, as the night went on, I relaxed and was able to drop that feeling.

photo by Michelina Bamford

photo by Michelina Bamford

The modelling portion of the evening went well – I didn’t choose any poses that I wasn’t able to hold, and none of my body parts fell asleep – YAY! I did notice, though, that because I have been an artist at figure drawing sessions, I have preferences about what I enjoy drawing (women more than men, and women with more folds and curves more than angular, thin women). These preferences influenced the way I thought about my body during and after the session. My usual feelings of not measuring up because of the way society tells me I should be (flat stomach, clear skin, thin, etc), completely flipped around to feeling like I wasn’t good enough because I wasn’t large enough, wasn’t curvy enough, didn’t have enough folds – basically, not interesting enough to draw.

Fascinating how the mind works, yes?

Instead of feeling not good enough, I would love to come to the place of fully accepting that all bodies are beautiful. I understand it, I just don’t completely feel it yet within myself. Getting there, though. And I’m a lot closer than I have ever been to really knowing this.

So many people commented to me that I was brave for doing this. This hasn’t completely sunk in, or I maybe because I have done it, I no longer think of it as that big a deal. Or maybe, I didn’t quite understand the sentiment. I don’t think it’s necessarily brave to stand naked in front of strangers, but I do think it’s brave to try something that is completely new and a little scary, whatever that may be for you.

Drawing and photo by Deseré Pressey. The two central figures are me!

Drawing and photo by Deseré Pressey. The two central figures are me!

Figure Drawing at Gorilla House

It’s been about 15 years since I’ve done any figure drawing, so I’m a bit rusty. Head down to Gorilla House for $10 drop-in sessions on Thursday evenings at 7pm.

My friend Denice Brown recently wrote a wonderful post about drawing, and why everyone is able to draw, as long as they practice. I will let her words do the talking for me – I’m not even half as eloquent.