Fuck, yeah, I’m excited! I’m relaxing on a hammock with a man who thrills me, overlooking beautiful, lush greenery and a gigantic lake in Guatemala, where I will be dancing twice a day for a week! Woo hoo! Truth be told, I’ve been excited about this for a long time, and I am thrilled it’s finally happening!
Today is the final day for this module of Core Connexion teacher training. I’ve been dancing all week, going deeper, growing. Yesterday I discovered a power animal for myself: a giant snake – an anaconda, perhaps? We do many exercises apart from dancing, and one was a 5-minute poem or text based on 5 words: bones, breath, spirit, tree and movement. I finally understood what some people go through when they are supposed to do a drawing exercise, yet are under the belief that they can’t draw. My first thought was, “I don’t write poetry.” As it turns out, I am pretty happy with it. So I guess I do write poetry.
In the movement of the tree,
I see the breath of me.
In the stillness of the tree,
I sense the bones.
In the silence of the tree,
I hear my spirit.
In the body of the tree,
I feel whole.
Today I am grateful for:
- the support I get from my back, my legs, my feet
- being in good enough shape (I’m referring mainly to my back here) to dance for 7 days straight
- having the opportunity to dance for 7 days straight (I am grateful to my mother-in-law for picking up the kids and making dinner, and for having the financial means to make this happen)
- allowing myself to become fully present during dance
- from yesterday, the qualities I discovered I have within myself: stillness, fun, groundedness, rest, growth, connectedness, playfulness, flexibility, and curiosity.
- intimate connections on the dance floor
Happy Birthday to my amazing, beautiful, creative and inspiring mother, a.k.a. MA! My mom has given me so much: my love of rainbows, my competitive streak, my parenting style, my scoliosis survival, my knitting and crochet knowledge, my love of yarn and books, and the list goes on and on. Thank you Ma, for everything you do. I love you. xoxo
Today, I am grateful for:
1. My mom spending last week with us and taking care of the kids and cooking while I danced for 6 days straight during the Core Connexion teacher training! My mom rocks!
2. Spending the weekend dancing with my BFF, Angela!
3. The supportive and wonderful dance community.
4. Warm weather is back!
5. My back supports me.
6. The feeling of slipping between freshly laundered, high thread count, sheets. Oh, and our amazing mattress.
Lately I’ve been painting safe. Painting for others. Painting what I think other people want to see. What evidence do I have that staying safe will actually help me? None, actually. What evidence do I have that taking a risk will benefit me? Surprisingly, there is some; the paintings that people respond to the most, are the ones that I have painted from my heart, rather than my head. They are the ones that piss me off, make me angry, and the ones that I dislike the most. But they are also the ones that people respond to, and the ones that people want to buy. I guess it makes sense; if I’m feeling something as I paint, you’ll feel something when you look.
This is my goal now – to paint more from my body, less from my head. Paint what I like, not what I think others will like. It sounds so simple, but sometimes it isn’t easy. Using watercolors forces me to accept what is happening – they are harder to control than acrylics. I’m going to start playing more, and accepting more and using more watercolors. Oh, and dancing before I paint, to help me get out of my head.
After taking the intuitive painting workshop with Michele Cassou, I thought that I had to keep this kind of painting separate from my “work painting”. Now I am not so sure. This is all an experiment. I’ll let you know how it goes!