This past year or so, I’ve noticed that I am frequently triggered into feeling rejection, loneliness, anger, jealousy, sadness, and more. It happens fast and it happens often, and when it does, I see it happening and the part of me that is not reacting is looking for a way to move forward. While my ego stays frozen, there is a part of me that knows exactly what I need – to feel my feelings fully, to move (physically – usually to dance), and often, to connect with another.
While we were still living together, my ex-husband told me I was always moving forward, and he likened my path of growth to being on a race track: that I was sprinting ahead. Sometimes it feels that way – that I am discovering new lessons often, growing everyday, and not making any attempts to slow down. After almost 40 years spent suppressing my feelings, I have a lot of catching up to do, and moving forward is exactly what I will keep doing.