SelfLove365, Year 2, Day 141: LearningGrowing

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I surround myself with people who are committed to growth, and who know the perfect questions to ask at the perfect moments. Today, one of these friends asked me whether I am able explain what value my art brings to this world, and I realized that until I am able to answer that, I am stuck.

I have been realizing, during the process of separation from my husband, with discussions of support, that I still don’t value my contribution to the world as an artist. Even at a young age (as stated in my Grade 3 autobiography, in fact), I thought that being an artist was an unwise career move because it doesn’t pay well. Somehow, through my lifetime, I have been taught, and have accepted, that artists do not contribute anything worthwhile (worth paying for) to our society.

For a long time, I have been feeling like there’s something holding me back from my own success, and now I think I’ve found it. I thought it was simply a story about not being a good enough artist, but this goes well beyond my own capacities as an artist. Once again, I am looking at my value, my worth. How to dismantle this story and build anew is a new challenge for me.

I am learning. I am growing.

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3 thoughts on “SelfLove365, Year 2, Day 141: LearningGrowing

  1. ephemeral gecko

    I so relate to this!!! It took me over thirty years to begin to unpick all I was brought up to believe, art isn’t a real job, despite all the evidence to contradict this. What our young selves are told is very hard to shift!! Love this post. Tfs X

    Reply
      1. ephemeral gecko

        I think we’re all a *work in progress*. I don’t know if we ever undo what we’re told and trained in those early years, but realising I don’t have to believe in it was a big 1st step for me. Also understanding that so many artists battle with these kinda questions – I find a comfort in that. And keep on making, keep on creating, despite the doubt. I do what I do cos I love it, and I have to. If I didn’t, I would have no reason to live. I still struggle to justify it sometimes, but I know it’s what I have to do. Knowing others feel like this too helps massively.

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