SelfLove365, Year 2, Day 113: DO IT

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I know it’s Nike’s motto, but I’ve been borrowing it for the last few years: “Just do it”. I can think and overthink, until I kill an idea. I prefer to think a bit, and then just do it. There is absolutely no way to 100 % predict how something will turn out, so I would rather just do it, and deal with the consequences after. When I posed nude for a figure drawing class, it felt like I quickly jumped into saying “yes” (in reality, I had wanted to do this for years, but was waiting for the opportunity to jump) without any idea of what it would be like.

Today I had the idea of popping over to a friend’s house unannounced. I thought about it for a few minutes and decided to do it, based on my expectation that he would both like the surprise and enjoy seeing me (and I thought it would be awesome to arrive at 11:11am, which I did, because we often send each other “Make a wish” texts at 11:11). It didn’t turn out that way – he wasn’t happy about the surprise, and even had some anger that I would show up unexpectedly. Had I known this would be his reaction, I likely wouldn’t have stuck to my motto of “just do it”. I’m glad I did, though, since it gave us both an opportunity to feel (his anger, and my feelings of rejection), to speak our truth, and to grow; this failed surprise showed me very clearly how I still have expectations around others’ behaviours. I want to consciously let go of these expectations, or at least be more aware of having them.

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