Lately, whenever I’ve been triggered into feeling a lack of self-worth, I’ve been turning to B to help me through it. I always have the awareness that this is something I want to be able to do on my own, but most of the time I feel stuck, and so I don’t. We agreed last night that I will, for the time being, refrain from contacting him when I’m feeling this way. It’s draining on his energy, and it’s keeping me from developing my own skills at helping myself feel what I’m feeling, to move through it, and most importantly, it’s preventing me from discovering my own inner wisdom and strength. By leeching from his, I don’t have the need to find my own.
My body holds the wisdom I seek, and I look forward to discovering what it wants to say. It’s like I’m an explorer of a new land, charting the territory of the emotions as they arise in my body. This place within me is mostly undiscovered, and while it’s scary for me to contemplate doing this on my own, I expect that experiencing it for myself will be a rich and fulfilling journey.