Unsure Mazes

The Sketchbook Project, p. 29-30.

I’m like one of those lab rats running around a maze, always coming back to the same spot. I’ve been keeping track of my back issues, and I’m on a (about) 2 month cycle of feeling good and treating myself well, and then letting all slide (which mean sitting more than I should). I have that tightness in my lower back again. It always scares me when it starts, and I am very much aware of how I focus on the negative and want it to go away. This doesn’t help at all.

I recently started meditating again (there have been lots of fresh starts for meditating!!) and I can really see the benefit now, especially with the back trouble. My “witness” part of me is easier to spot. The witness doesn’t feel the pain, but rather, notices that I (my body) am feeling pain, and that I (my mind) is stuck in the pain. This awareness lets me deal with it better, and allows me to remember that it won’t last forever.

I just finished reading “Room” by Emma Donoghue – it’s a touching, frightening, wonderful story, told from the point of view of Jack, a 5-year old boy. Jack likes to do “word sandwiches”, where he combines two words to make a new one.  My favourite in the book, one that is appropriate for me right now is “scave”. I am scared and brave at the same time.

2 thoughts on “Unsure Mazes

  1. Lori-Ann

    Hey Bel–the sketchbook looks awesome! I love the colours that you use, and already associate them and the circles and round shapes with your work. Lovely!
    And I hear you about fresh starts for meditating. I’m there too. Good for you for noticing, and being with the noticing!
    Room. I’m still afraid. . . “scave” is great, though. In time, I too will read Room. . . .


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