Here’s what I want.

I’m such a follow the rules kind of person. As soon as a teacher or coach says something, I stick to it, follow the words like they are the only truth. Then I am reminded that there is no single right way of doing things. This idea that there is a “right” and a “wrong” is so engrained in me, that it makes it tough to break free from this way of thinking. Here’s what I want:

 

 

I want to be authentic, paint what really needs to be painted.

I want to have fun painting.

I want to admire my own work.

I want to try new things, but not shut out the old.

I want to paint rainbow stripes sometimes, even if I think it’s a way for me to feel safe. Or maybe because it’s a way for me to feel safe.

I want to paint things other than rainbow stripes.

I want to take risks.

And now, I will go back and reread these statements without the “want to”. Because it’s really happening.

 

Gift to my Dad.

I have fun painting.

I admire my own work.

I try new things, but don’t shut out the old.

I paint rainbow stripes sometimes, even if I think it’s a way for me to feel safe. Or maybe because it’s a way for me to feel safe.

I paint things other than rainbow stripes.

I take risks.

But I’m not ready to show any risky paintings yet.